Exploring the past

One of our most prolific contributors in recent times has been Mark, the author of the series ‘Seeing and getting’. You can find the first post of that series here. On the back of Mark’s stories, we received a separate contribution from a woman called Kate who believed Mark to be her brother, albeit he had used a pseudonym for the purposes of his story. Kate contributed her own story, The missing link?

The appearance of Kate’s story obviously caught the attention of Mark, who then emailed Maman again, saying: “At first, I was not sure if it was a hoax or fake – based on the amount of info in my stories, it would have not been impossible for it to be an imposter. However I started dropped small hints to my sister over a period of time, which led to a discussion which we decided to conduct over internet chat so as to save the embarrassment of a face-fo-face conversation.

What follows is a real heart-to-heart brother-sister discussion about the discipline Mark and Kate experienced as children, reproduced here with their express permission. At Mark’s special request, we are allowing pre-moderated commenting on what follows… 

Mark: Hi.
Kate: Hello, you OK?
Mark: Yes. Been thinking about what you said and I would like to discuss it.
Kate: OK. Where do we start?
Mark: How do we begin? I am a little nervous, but been thinking about it almost all my life.
Kate: Haha, snap. I think about it a lot. Are you happy to have the chat ongoing – for instance come to and fro from it – or would you rather have it all done and dusted?
Mark: I think it’s best if we come to and fro. I have so many thoughts and things I want to say but not sure how. Also this could get embarrassing.
Kate: I agree. Look, Mark – if you don’t want to do this we don’t have to. It is completely up to you and no pressure.
Mark: No, it is fine sis.
Kate: If it is any consolation, I was also scarred for life by it, but I turn it into a positive as an adult.
Mark: I think we will have similar feelings. How open can we be and will this go any further?
Kate: We can be as open as you wish or as reserved – let’s see how it goes. Whatever is said between us stays between us, although I do have a couple of confessions. Only saying as I want to be as open and honest as possible.
Mark: Should I be worried?
Kate: No, not at all.
Mark: OK, I am all ears.
Kate: Be right back. Got to order a takeaway.
Mark: OK.

Kate: Hi.
Mark: Hi – where were we?
Kate: I have a confession, I think…
Mark: Stop the suspense.
Kate: This will not go further than us in regard to people we know. Firstly, I do intend in the future to have a discussion with Mum about the past, but I won’t say anything you have said here. I won’t even tell her we have chatted.
Mark: OK – and the other confession?
Kate: Yes. I have been chatting with a nice elderly man online. I met him on a forum – a very interesting person and we have been chatting a lot.
Mark: Have you met him?
Kate: No it is not like that, but he does give me sound advice. I have spoken to him about this and you etc., and would like to share our chat with him purely for support and advice. He does not know either of us in the flesh and lives in London – I feel I can trust him. What are your thoughts?

Kate: Hello? You gone? Have I upset you?
Mark: Sorry, I had to take the dog out. Yes that is fine, if there is 100% no comeback.
Kate: I promise.
Mark: OK. If you let me down I will tell Mum on you haha, and that won’t end well!
Kate: Lol. On the topic of Mum…
Mark: Yes, Mum haha – I saw her today. She is looking well – was fussing as usual.
Kate: Love her.
Mark: Do you have any plans this evening ?
Kate: Not really, love this small talk ha ha. I have plenty of time on my hands. You ?
Mark: No plans. Right – OK, deep breath, let’s do this. Where do you start? Do you think Mum took the right approach towards us?
Kate: Yes, we were brats, especially you haha – but I feel she went over the top.
Mark: That is what I think and have thought about a lot. We never got on much growing up, you and I, and we were always fighting physically and always in trouble. It must have been stressful for Mum – she did have four of us. She has always been over-the-top strict though, I think.
Kate: Yes – I can remember many good hidings that I got and I seem to remember more of yours than any other sibling.
Mark: You have probably seen my bare bum more than my ex-wife lol.
Kate: Surely not! Let’s not talk about her – she was a bitch haha. Mark, I am going to ask you something and I want an honest answer.
Mark: OK,
Kate: I am only going to ask you once, and will accept your first answer. Have you ever written about your/our experiences?
Mark: I may have mentioned a few things in a diary.
Kate: And anywhere else?
Mark: Not sure.
Kate: Does the name Mark mean anything to you?

Kate: Hello? You there?
Mark: Mark? Well, it is my name – just not my first name.
Kate: OK, another question – does the word or website Maman mean anything to you?
Mark: OK, OK, yes I wrote about my experiences and wrote about you. I am sorry – I feel ashamed now. I am guessing you have seen it, but something tells me I already knew that.
Kate: It is honestly OK. It was a good, fairly accurate account and I felt the same. I have also written there.
Mark: I guessed, but was not sure if it was really you.
Kate: So now we both know about that, we can relax and discuss things at ease?
Mark: Good point.
Kate: What do you remember about the punishments?
Mark: The fear of getting into trouble. The shame and the intensity of Mum’s beatings. The groundings and chores that went on forever. I hated the mouth soapings, and also Dad’s silent treatment.
Kate: We are on the same wavelength. I hated Mum’s brush – she really thrashed with it.

Mark: I hated being made to fetch her brush, It was almost like signing your own death warrant, having to fetch the brush that was about to beat you. And you fetched it plenty of times for her so she could thrash me as well. Is it any wonder we never got on, haha?
Kate: You fetched it a fair few times so I could be thrashed as well, so I guess we are even.
Mark: I cannot look at a brush these days without getting butterflies and feeling queasy. The number of times you used to get me in trouble are unbelievable.
Kate: Sorry. How did you feel about the spankings at the time? What were your thoughts?
Mark: I hated them – I would do anything to avoid them.
Kate: Me too.
Mark: I thought about them a lot and replayed them over and over in my head, especially as I got older.
Kate: We had that love-hate relationship and I think we were close to hating each other growing up.
Mark: I couldn’t agree more. Can I confess, I loved it when you got thrashed – as long as I was not next.
Kate: Why?
Mark: Purely down to the poor relationship we had. I felt smug if you got it – it was like scoring points over you.
Kate: Yes, it would not have been so bad had the beatings not been so bad. But I also liked seeing or hearing you in trouble as well. You never did have a white bum for long haha. Sorry.

Mark: I will never forget the thrashing you got across the dinning room table that time – that was brutal. Don’t think you realise how purple you were and how much you showed.
Kate: OMG, that was bad and I was so ashamed when I turned around to run to my room, probably sent to bed, to see you sitting there smug. I wanted the ground to swallow me up. The points you scored that day were unreal. I thought the house was empty.
Mark: No, Dad had gone out to the farmers’ market with the others – it was only me and Mum home. She was on a mission that day and I knew you were going to get it when you got home.
Kate: How did you know?
Mark: Mum had a bee in her bonnet about something . She had spent most of the morning upstairs in your bedroom and was shouting and muttering and several times I heard her say ‘the dirty cow’ and similar expressions like ‘filthy bitch’. I remember her saying words to the effect of ‘she has had it when she gets home’. I knew she was serious, because she placed the hairbrush on the table.
Kate: Thanks, you could have warned me haha!
Mark: Why and how would I?
Kate: Meaning?
Mark: Well, we had no mobile phones back then – it would have been mid 90s, and secondly at the time, if I am honest, I was rather excited about the prospect of scoring more points. I just did not anticipate how well it was going to go.

Mark: What had happened that day to anger her so much?
Kate: It was a messy bedroom and weeks of dirty washing.
Mark: You probably deserved it then.
Kate: My biggest shock was that you were sitting there.
Mark: I was going to go out until I realised what was going to happen, so I put some crap on the TV and pretended to watch it. I was not missing that for anything.
Kate: Bastard, lo,.
Mark: Sorry, haha.
Kate: Of course you are, lol. So what do you remember ?
Mark: Well, firstly I did not realise you had come home as you came through the side gate and into the conservatory, which was your first error as I knew Mum was sat in there reading and waiting for you. The first I heard was raised voices and a good slap, which I assume was across your face?
Kate: Will never forget that – she gave me a good one.
Mark: For a moment I could not see anything. I could only hear the shouting, so I guessed maybe she was dealing with you in the conservatory.
Kate: Neighbours would have loved that.
Mark: Then the back door was flung open and I think Mum had you by the ear. It happened so quick – she was screaming at you. She flung you over the table and raised your skirt and proceeded to thrash you immediately with the brush.
Kate: I remember my knickers were at my ankles.
Mark: I did not want to mention that, was going to save you the embarrassment.
Kate: Thanks.
Mark: I remember you kicking and screaming and your knickers did end up on the floor. Mother was wild that day – you were purple by the time she was done.
Kate: It was one of my worst for many reasons: the intensity, the reason for the punishment – I had been filthy, in her own words – then turning around in my exposed state, crying uncontrollably and seeing you there looking smug. If the ground could have swallowed me up, that would have been a good time. You mentioned in your Maman story how exposed I had been?
Mark: You had been very exposed, certainly one of the hidings I remember of yours, but you had been spanked many times before and I had seen you bare across mum’s knee on numerous occasions – especially when when it was group hidings. You were always in front of me, as it was done in age order.
Kate: Yes.
Mark: Mum was always harsh.
Kate: Yes I remember her thrashing you on several occasions and not once did I feel sorry for you at the time. Remember the washing up instance?
Mark: How could I forget? Haha.
Kate: I planned that – that was revenge for witnessing mine that day.
Mark: I got it good that day, and you fetched her the brush.
Kate: Oh yes, and it snapped. Loved the way you started crying when you realised you could not get out of it and begged when she told you to get your pants down.
Mark: She was in no mood for mercy that day.
Kate: Yeah, she yanked them down. You looked shocked and just jumped across her knee, almost like you were submitting.
Mark: It was more to hide my shame.
Kate: It didn’t work – we both saw your shame. I remember she pushed you off her lap once she was done and screamed something about getting straight to bed and being grounded.
Mark: You have a good memory.
Kate: Also remember the brush snapping and her finishing you off with her sandal.
Mark: Certainly one of my worst ever hidings.
Kate: How old would we have been?
Mark: Let’s work this out.
Kate: I was just shy of my 13th birthday when I went across the dining room table. I was born October 1982 so it would have been 1995. You were born February 1981 so 18 months between us, so you would have been 14 and a half.
Mark: It was one of my last – I was not spanked much beyond 15.

Kate: Would you have taken the other punishments over a thrashing?
Mark: Yes, even though I was grounded for 30 days once. The thrashings were not just harsh, but also very shaming. I think the shame was a big factor as well. The other punishments were very childish – I hated being sent to bed by 5.30 for a week as a teen, and hated the endless chores.
Kate: Mother certainly had a big catalogue of punishments up her sleeve , but thinking back I remember that even the groundings, chores and early bedtimes all came with a spanking first and the others were pretty much secondary punishments.
Mark: Good point. Did Dad ever punish you?.
Kate: No, not like that – not as I got older anyway. Had the occasional smack on the leg etc but Mum was the disciplinarian. Did Dad ever punish you like that?
Mark: A few times, but not quite like Mother. I remember him spanking me through my jeans once – only about four or five smacks, but they hurt.
Kate: He had big hands.
Mark: Yes, he did.
Kate: I am sorry for what I put you through and for getting you in so much trouble.
Mark: I am sorry too.
Kate: We were as bad as each other haha.
Mark: Yes and we had loads of good times when we were not in trouble – it was a very loving family environment.
Kate: Agree.

Mark: Just to summarise – I think we were treated harshly. The mid 90s was late to still get spanked. And those spankings were thrashings, beatings, and she made no attempt to carry out punishments in private – we were exposed to each other almost as added punishment and shame, I think. I don’t think Mum knew any other way and I know she had a strict upbringing herself, being the eldest of six. Having said that, I do feel Mother plotted and planned our punishments and went out of her way to buy implements for the job. And she had a way of words describing exactly what she was going to do to us, no details spared. I think she knew when she woke up most mornings if she was going to spank that day or not and who. What are your thoughts?
Kate: I think you have worded that pretty well, to be honest. Everything makes sense. I must confess, though, that I did enjoy the thought of it all and the exposure and witnessing it all at the time, but certainly hated and regretted the reality.
Mark: Did you enjoy the thought of yourself being exposed?
Kate: Yes. I would be lying if I said no – but thought and reality are two different things.
Mark: I remember a few times after you had showered…the bathroom was downstairs and you would run from the bathroom through the living room and up the stairs with just a towel on, and the number of times the towel slipped and exposed your bum was unreal. It only seemed to happen when it was just me home or in the room, though.
Kate: Haha! Put it down to female testosterone at the time.
Mark: OK – we will say no more on that topic.

Kate: How has it affected you as an adult?
Mark: Honestly?
Kate: Yes
Mark: It is now a major kink of mine. You?
Kate: Same.
Mark: You don’t have to answer – but do you practise it?
Kate: Yes, I have had many good spankings. You?
Mark: Same. I actually have a FetLife account.
Kate: Wow, and I am on SpankingTube being spanked.
Mark: Haha, want to swap account details?
Kate: Probably not wise – you will see far too much haha.
Mark: Same. I do have some pretty good photos on my FetLife lol.
Kate: Maybe something to consider.
Mark: Does this conclude our chat for now?
Kate: Yes – I am satisfied. Thanks for the chat over the last two or three days. See you on FetLife sometime, haha.
Mark: I am sure you will. Take care, sis.
Kate: Same to you, Mark.
Mark: I have read back over this – it needs some editing, but maybe it would be good for Maman?
Kate: I was thinking the same but would like to maybe put it somewhere where we can get comments on it, possibly.
Mark: I will have a think.

Many thanks to both Mark and Kate for their contributions and their honesty.

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