Mothers Talking: Debra

Debra and her husband live in the US state of Indiana. She has two daughters, Kayla and Lily, who at the time of this interview were aged nine and seven respectively.

Do you come from a pro-spanking background? Was corporal punishment always going to be part of family life for you, as a mother?

Pretty much, yes. I was always going to spank, though I’ve not been – at least so far – as severe as my parents were with me.

I’m the sixth of seven children but the next youngest from me is 13 years older (and my one younger sibling is about a year and a half younger than me) so I kind of grew up being the ‘oldest’, in one respect.

At any rate, my parents raised my younger sister and I the same way they did our older siblings, so we were still spanked right through high school and a bit beyond.

I don’t think my parents were really any stricter than those of my friends, but as we got older, my friends all stopped being spanked, while it remained very much an option for me. My friends would be grounded – I would be spanked. Anyway, yes – I pretty much knew I would spank my children when I had them.

What kind of age did corporal punishment start for them?

At around three years old, I started giving them two quick pops, one on each thigh. They each probably got their first proper, over the lap spanking around a year later.

Do you remember the first one you gave?

Kayla’s first was for being a brat at church one morning. I took her into an empty room, took her panties down and smacked her butt eight times. She howled like she was being killed but her butt was only a little pink. However, she did sit nicely and behave herself after that!

How does spanking make you feel?

Well, I don’t like spanking them but I certainly do believe in it. It gets the results I need.

How are such punishments typically administered?

Normally, I take the naughty girl to my bedroom, sit on the edge of my bed and lecture her sternly. Then I pull her panties down, place her across my lap and spank her.

How many spanks are normally given?

Generally, it’s two for each year of their age, and delivered hard. The spanking doesn’t take long but it certainly gets them back on track most of the time.

What do you spank with?

I have up, until very recently, only ever used my hand. However, Kayla was introduced to the hairbrush this past week, after three weeks of repeatedly misbehaving. A few days later, and her attitude seems to have been significantly adjusted. 

How severe is the spanking?

Well, as I say, I almost always give them twice their age, unless they have lied to me, then it’s five times their age and done in front of their sister too. Lies are pretty rare, as you might guess. I always get tears.

And afterwards – what happens?

After the spanking they are stood up, given a hug, then sent to their bedroom for a while to contemplate.

How important is spanking in family life for you? Do you discuss the sanction with the children much?

I’m not sure how to rate its importance – for me, it’s just how I discipline them. We don’t really discuss it much except when it’s actually time for a spanking – although Lily likes to spank her dolls and stuffed animals!

I don’t think I’m actually overly strict. I don’t have like a billion rules or a ‘zero warning’ policy, anything like that. I just think a reddened butt is the best way to correct naughty children.

Have you spanked any children other than your own?

Yes, I have spanked some nieces and nephews, as well as one of Kayla’s best friends.

Are the children subject to corporal punishment in school? 

My girls go to a church school, and they both have been spanked with a ruler there. When they get a bit older, the paddle will be a possibility. I fully support it, and in fact I went to the same school – though I think they were stricter back then!

How hard do you spank?

I pop their bottoms pretty hard but they’re not generally sore for hours afterwards. By the next morning, at the latest, their bottoms are back to normal. The hairbrush on Kayla was a bit different, though – she was having obvious difficulty sitting down the entire next day. 

Do you have a mental marker of when you might stop spanking the children?

I was spanked for the very last time at 20, so my own life experience says that there isn’t really an upper limit. I think the hairbrush will help keep it effective for years to come.

How do you feel about the decline of spanking in society?

I think it’s definitely a negative. Spanking has several advantages over other punishments. It’s quick, it’s deeply unpleasant and something the child will want to avoid in future. It leaves absolutely no question they have been naughty and punished – but it doesn’t linger, it can release pent-up emotions and it’s a bonding experience for mother and child.

What was your own most memorable spanking moment, giving or receiving?

Receiving, I think that was when I was 14, maybe 15. I got paddled at school, a spanking with my mom’s hairbrush and then finally my dad whipped with a belt. That was a rough night, let me tell you!

My most memorable moment in giving it out, at least up until now, was about six months ago. Kayla and her friend got in trouble together for talking during Sunday school, and I took them both over my lap and tanned their little bottoms, then took them both back into the service, still crying. Kayla also got a second spanking when we got home, to make sure she understood that misbehaving in church is 100% not allowed.

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