Mothers Talking: Sarah

Sarah is a European single mother and is mum to Emma, who at the time of this interview was eight years old.

Can we start by talking about your own upbringing? I assume you were spanked as a child?

Yes, during my own childhood I was spanked by my parents – both Mom and Dad – but also, my grandparents had permission to spank me when they thought it necessary.

During my first few years in school, I experienced some mild smacked bottoms from my teacher. All the spankings I received during my childhood were administered with the hand. I remember Dad or Granddad would spank me on my clothed bottom, while my mother and other female authority figures would punish me either over panties or on the bare bottom.

Was discipline during childhood a positive thing for you, and did it affect your decision to spank your own daughter?

Before actually become a mother, it was my plan to never use spanking for discipline – not because I was mad at my parents for spanking me; it was just because I felt now it was a ‘different time’ in how we bring up children.

At first, I thought I had made the right decision about raising Emma but as she got older, she got more strong-willed and tried to test her limits all the time. I talked with my parents about this a lot, and my mother kept saying that while I was doing well as a parent, there was nothing wrong with a smacked bottom in the right place and right time. So to answer your question, yes, my own upbringing was part of my decision to eventually begin using spankings.

What age did you begin spanking her? Can you remember her first time?

Emma had just turned four and she was really into colouring. She coloured every – in books, but unfortunately also on tables and walls. One day, after I confiscated her pencils and crayons, she took one of my lipsticks and drew on the wall. I decided the time was right for her first spanking, so I bared her bottom and put her over my knee. You can read the full story about that spanking elsewhere on Maman.

Do you use just your hand, or do you use an implement?

At the moment, all spankings are given with my hand. I haven’t give the question of an implement much thought yet, and since I was only ever punished with the hand during my childhood, I would prefer to continue spanking that way for as long as possible.

Do you spank bare bottom? If so, how important is that, in your opinion?

Yes, I spank bare bottom. I think it is both the best and safest way to spank, since you can control the severity more easily. However, I’m not one to tell another parent they’re doing it wrong if they prefer to spank on a clothed bottom. As long as they are actively disciplining their children, and smack bottoms when needed, I’m glad.

How long does an average spanking last, and how hard do you smack?

I am not really sure how hard I smack my daughter but it’s hard enough to make her cry for around five to ten minutes once the punishment is over, and to have a sore bottom for an hour or two.

Are there ever any marks?

I think a good red bottom is to be expected and desirable but other than that, no I never leave marks.

What happens immediately after the spanking?

After the spanking is over, I tell her to stay in her room until she’s stopped crying, and is ready to come back out and say sorry for her misbehaviour.

Do you generally see an immediate change in the standard of Emma’s behaviour after she’s been given a sore bottom?

Oh yes, she’s very sweet and good girl for her Mom for some time after that. I find the memory of the spanking certainly restrains her behaviour for at least about a week or so.

Around how often does she need to be spanked?

I tend to spank around once or twice a month usually.

What are the most common things you discipline for?

Right now, I discipline mostly for things like not listening to me or not doing as she is told. For example, yesterday I decided that TV was off for the afternoon. I wanted her to read a book or do something else – but she would not listen and argued that it was boring to read books and things like that. So after arguing with her for some time, I had enough. I took Emma to her room and spanked her bottom. Once she was done crying, she came out again, said sorry and we then had a nice afternoon, reading and cuddling up.

Are you open with friends and family about your use of corporal punishment? Is it something they also use?

Really, it’s something I only talk about with my parents and one childhood friend. She is not a mother herself yet but as with my parents, she has permission to spank Emma if she babysits. My friend is very supportive of spanking and wants to raise her children in the same way, when she has them.

Have you ever spanked a child other than your own daughter?

No – up until now, the only bottom I’ve smacked has been hers.

How old do you think you’ll continue spanking until?

I’m really not sure yet. I got my own last spanking when I was 14 – almost 15, in fact – so I guess it would be around the same age, but it’s not something I’ve given too much thought to yet.

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