I remember very clearly the first time I spanked my daughter. By the time she had just turned four years old, one of her favourite things to do was colouring. She coloured a lot in her colouring books – but sometimes also unfortunately on walls and other places.
My initial response was to simply scold her and tell her ‘no’. I then tried putting her in time out. When this had no effect, I started taking away the crayons and pencils she was using.
One day, I had already given her this sanction when I went to put away some laundry. I walked in on my daughter – she was colouring on the wall, not with pencils but with one of my lipsticks she had found and taken.
Needless to say, I was extremely displeased with her. I put the laundry down, grabbed the lipstick from her and began to scold her soundly.
I sat down on the bed, pulled her to me and pulled down her pants and panties. As this was to be her first sore bottom, naturally she didn’t realise what this ritual was for.
I told her that because she had not listened to me and had made a mess on the wall, she was now going to get a spanking .
I put her over my knee, raised my hand and started to smack her bare bottom. Of course, she screamed and cried as the punishment was administered. It wasn’t a long spanking – I gave her only about five smacks and the whole thing took about 10 seconds at most. Afterwards, I held her while she had a cry.
As she gradually calmed down, I gently told her: “Mommy loves you but it’s my job to teach you right from wrong. From now on, when you misbehave, I will spank you. I’m doing this because I love you. You will remember this spanking and be a good girl to avoid it in future, won’t you?” She nodded sadly.
I put her down on the bed for a little while, and told her that when she had finished crying, she should come and get Mommy and we would then clean up the mess together.