The Spanking Mum: Tools for the job

Some time ago, a young UK mother-of two named Louise published a series of comment pieces about family discipline in a blog entitled The Spanking Mum. For various reasons, Louise decided to discontinue the blog. However, she very kindly offered Maman the chance to reproduce some of its posts here as archive material, of which this is the first. We should point out that the opinions in all these pieces are exclusively those of Louise herself.

I know there are many pro-spanking parents out there who would never consider using anything other than their hand to chastise their child – but I honestly don’t think it’s the best option.

I realise that some parents out there will freak at the idea of using an implement to spank, and so the open hand of a loving parent seems a safe, socially acceptable choice.

Many pro-spanking Christian commentators caution against using the hand, as they believe it should only be seen as an instrument of love and comfort, not correction. Personally, I’m a bit more pragmatic about such niceties.

But your hand isn’t as meek and mild a choice as you might first believe. It contains quite a number of pretty solid and heavy bones (with the surrounding flesh adding even more mass) and is directly connected to a very heavy and powerful force – your arm.

A lightweight implement, by contrast, when held loosely and administered from the wrist only, will still sting sufficiently enough to be a real punishment while keeping physical force to a minimum.

There are two basic qualities I look for in a spanking instrument. First, as I have said before, it should be lightweight. Even older children do not generally need a very severe implement.

The second quality is that it should be broad and flat. The sensation you are looking to achieve is a memorable sting across the child’s buttocks.

With that in mind, my recommendation is that young children receive their first spankings with a humble 12in wooden ruler on their bare bottoms.

Such an implement produces a memorable sting on your child’s seat without risking bruising or any marks beyond temporary reddening. The ruler should be kept solely for spankings.

The child should be instructed to bare their bottom and bend over, hands on knees. Very small or uncooperative children may have to be have their pants put down by the parent and be placed over the knee instead, but I believe children should be encouraged to take their punishments obediently and with dignity. My two both agree that bending over to be spanked feels more ‘grown up’.

For older children, I would recommend a small, purpose-made spanking paddle, approximating the back of a hairbrush, again given with underpants down in the same position.

Please be sensible about size, weight and thickness. When choosing any spanking implement, I recommend you test it on your own unclothed inner thigh, the sensitivity of which will be close to that of your child’s bottom. Your own backside, I’m afraid to say, will be too toughened up to get an accurate picture!

The above two options, administered in moderation, should provide really all you should need for a child’s ‘spanking years’. Generally speaking, there’s really no need for anything more severe. If you haven’t got control of your children by the time a ‘big kids’ paddle ceases to be a deterrent, you’ve got a much bigger problem than how to effectively administer corporal punishment.

Some parents prefer to have the spanker on show as a reminder to their children to behave. Personally, I think it is more discreet (and sensible in these febrile times) to keep it stored out of sight until needed.

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