In praise of the cane

I am a 31-year-old, stay-at-home mom from a small town in the Indian state of Kerala. When I was young, corporal punishment at school and in the home were commonplace. Children feared their teachers and parents, and as a result, they generally behaved well and performed to their full potential.

The rattan cane (locally known as a chooral) was used by the teachers at my school, and indeed several of my friends were also disciplined with the same implement at home.

However, my own parents were unusually permissive and lenient for the era in question. Although my mom beat me a few times with a thin belt, her attitude to my discipline was moody and inconsistent, with the result that its use had a fairly minimal effect on my behaviour and work ethic.

I have always felt that my subsequent failure in my academic studies could have been prevented had my parents more strict with me. Most of my friends who excelled had at least one strict parent who helped steer them towards success.

From my own experience, which includes several homes I knew where corporal punishments were used, including those of my close friends and cousins, kids with strict parents always seemed to behave better and performed well academically.

I differ in opinion to the liberal parenting paradigm that has overtaken – and subdued – decades of well-established parenting practices. This trend of lenient parenting has marginalised and made strict parenting a taboo, depriving some parents of their right to raise their children in the way they believe is best. The result has been quite negative in my opinion, with kids these days being far less compliant and respectful.

I also disagree with the generalisation that corporal punishment leads to negative outcomes. I think the equation is far more nuanced and subjective. Parental discipline that is balanced with love has historically shown positive outcomes. Most of my aunts used the cane at home, and my cousins are all just fine as adults. 

I got married young, and in the light of my own experiences, I decided to diverge from my parents’ example and adopt a conservative, ‘old school’ parenting style. I am a firm believer in corporal punishment and use the rattan cane at home, just like so many women a generation ago did.

I am very strict with my son and cane consistently for misbehaviour and lack of application in academic work. Obviously, not all mistakes are equal and the severity of each caning is very much informed by the seriousness of the misdemeanour.

The cane has brought about the same outcomes in my son as that of my childhood peers with strict parents – obedience, good behaviour, respectful attitude, a sound work ethic and academic excellence. So I am proud to be one of the minority of strict mothers who still uses the cane.

Contributor: Rajeswari