I’m now in my mid-40s and grew up in England when ethnic troubles were still simmering – my mum is Kenyan and my dad English.
Smacked bottoms at home were not a regular punishment, but were occasionally administered. Mostly, though, it only took my dad’s firm voice – or ‘the look’ from Mum – to bring me back into line. I may have got the occasional single slap on my bum, but a thorough spanking was definitely a rarity.
Life was fairly good, until my dad found a new woman and left my mum. I forgave him for it years later but at the time, the split really caused me to go off the rails.
I was (and still am, in some ways) a ‘bit of a girl’ – I was pretty, I liked boys and soon got into skipping school and shoplifting, to name but a few sins. I was brought home by police on many an occasion, although the most I usually got was a huge telling-off from Mum.
When I was 15, my mum finally met a new man. Perhaps unsurprisingly, I was resentful of this and didn’t want him around. He wasn’t there a lot at first, due to his work, but then he moved in – and he and Mum eventually became engaged. It was around this time that I really began to push the boundaries, staying out increasingly late etc.
One summer’s day, during a row over my latest misdemeanours, I made the huge mistake of calling my mum a ‘bitch’. Rightly, I think, she slapped my face. Unfortunately, this reprimand only made me more angry, and I punched my mother in the face – just as her fiancé walked into living room.
In a flash, he had me face down on the sofa. He began to slap my clothed backside with his huge hand, blow after blow. It smarted a bit but I was more angry and humiliated than hurt. I then made my second big mistake of the day by calling him a ‘cunt’.
His response was to hold me down with one hand while with the other he quickly unfastened my shorts, and took down both them and my knickers. He began to spank me thoroughly, and this time on bare skin it hurt considerably more, of course. Eventually I was sent to my room in a flood of tears, clutching my blistered backside and appalled that he had seen not only that, but also my genitals.
Unfortunately, his and mum’s relationship failed, and many other men came into my mum’s life and left due to my bad behaviour. There were many other events like the one I’ve described above, all of which I am now thoroughly ashamed about.