The Spanking Mum: A different kindness

You might reasonably think that using the words ‘kindness’ and ‘spanking’ in the same sentence is something of a non-sequitur. But this unlikely couple do, in fact, belong together.

First, though, I want to talk about the difference between discipline and punishment. People will tell you they are not the same thing, which is sort of true – but not. Basically, punishment is part of discipline; a component of the greater whole, if you like.

Now, I know there are parents (and, especially, child psychologists) who don’t believe in the principle of punishment. I don’t agree with them, as I explained in an earlier post, and I think most parents, however reluctantly, feel it is sometimes necessary to punish their kids.

If you eliminate spanking, nearly all the alternative punishments involve some form of deprivation over a fixed period of time. It might be the confiscation of a favourite toy, grounding (being kept in, as we used to call it when I was a girl!) or an eagerly-anticipated treat being cancelled.

The problem with all of these sanctions is their duration. The act of punishing, or the state of being punished, induces a separation and state of brokenness in the parent-child relationship,.

Reconciliation cannot properly take place until the punishment is complete. And one of the most attractive characteristics of spanking is how quickly it is over.

A spanking is like a terrible thunderstorm. It is scary (and yes, it hurts). But it also quickly passes, and the sun returns. The child cries, the parent comforts, the lesson is taught and they kiss and make up.

And like a thunderstorm, afterwards there is clean, fresh feeling in the air. As storms resolve tensions in the climate, the tears of a spanked child wash away domestic discontent and restore family harmony. And sooner rather than later.

Contributor: Louise. Originally published in her blog The Spanking Mum. Opinions are solely those of the original author.

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