Mothers Talking: Mary

Mary is a mother of three children. At the time of this interview, her son was 12 and her two daughters 14 and 15 respectively.

Can we start with you telling us about your own upbringing? Were you spanked as a girl, who did it and how was it done? How did that influence your own choices when it came to disciplining your own children?

I was spanked often by both parents over the knee with hand, slipper or hairbrush.  I use the same methods on our children for spanking them.

At what age did you start spanking them? Can you remember giving your first, and how it felt?

I started gentle spankings from the age of two, increasing the severity as they got older. I felt that I was doing the right thing by spanking their bottoms.

Can you describe a typical spanking for the children?

They still go over my knee, or that of my husband, with their underwear either down or off.  Prior to the spanking, they are told what they have done wrong so they understand why they are being punished. I usually take their underwear down just before they go over my knee. I start with just my hand, then add either the slipper or hairbrush.

What do you like about spanking as opposed to the alternatives?

A spanking on their bottom helps a child remember. Other sanctions, such as taking things away, don’t always work, whereas a sore bottom invariably does.

What happens immediately after the spanking is over?

The child in question is sent to their room for an hour. After that, they can come back downstairs and re-enter family life.

How do the children feel about being spanked? Are their friends punished in a similar way?

Well, like any child they certainly don’t like it.  We don’t discuss it with other parents, so I’ve really no idea whether their friends are spanked.

If you were to give one piece of advice to a mother just starting out with spankings, what would it be?

Be careful when you start. Do not spank too hard until you find the right level of severity for their age. Check their bottoms afterwards for bruising or any sign of marks. If they are present, ensure any future spankings are not so severe. You are looking for a red and sore bottom only.

How old do you plan to spank until? Will there come a time when other punishments such as loss of privileges will become more effective?

I think the age of 16 will be the deciding point.

What legacy do you hope spanking will leave for your children? Do you believe they will go on to spank their own kids in due course?

If done with love and a certain amount of comforting after they have calmed down, then I hope they will see that spanking does work and may employ corporal punishment on their account some time in the future.

Thanks for talking to us, Mary!

No problem. I hope it’s of some help. New mums especially need to know how to spank a naughty child safely.

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